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In Which I Get Into Fantasy Football
Vasant, on his computer, mutters to himself.

Me: What’s up?
Vasant: I didn’t get the quarterback I wanted for my fantasy league.
Me: Doesn’t FANTASY football imply that you can have whomever you want in your league?
Vasant: No. You compete against all the other teams in the draft. You might not get the player you want.
Me: Offer him more money with your billions of fantasy dollars.
Vasant: It doesn’t work like that. 
Me: It’s a fantasy. Of course it works like that. You are the emperor of space and you own a football team. They all have guns for arms, and your QB has a chest cannon. Cheerleaders are made of solid gold, which of course, means they’re robots. Solid gold robots. 

Vasant tries to ignore me. 

Me: BUT THEN the robots take over the league. Or at least they try to. Your players can fly, so they have the aerial advantage. 

Vasant gets up to leave. 

Me: WAIT! I have more ideas for your fantasy league!

—-
Afterwards, he made me join his league and now I’m going all Aspergian on player stats. I actually know quite a lot about football, but stayed out of fantasy drafts because I, the Lord of the Rings nerd, think it’s a dumb way to spend your time. I also know I get too competitive and I’m worried about being in a league with people I love. Like worried I might destroy them with my cyborg players.
In other news, everyone in our league has given their teams Lord of the Rings names…

In Which I Get Into Fantasy Football

Vasant, on his computer, mutters to himself.

Me: What’s up?

Vasant: I didn’t get the quarterback I wanted for my fantasy league.

Me: Doesn’t FANTASY football imply that you can have whomever you want in your league?

Vasant: No. You compete against all the other teams in the draft. You might not get the player you want.

Me: Offer him more money with your billions of fantasy dollars.

Vasant: It doesn’t work like that. 

Me: It’s a fantasy. Of course it works like that. You are the emperor of space and you own a football team. They all have guns for arms, and your QB has a chest cannon. Cheerleaders are made of solid gold, which of course, means they’re robots. Solid gold robots. 

Vasant tries to ignore me. 

Me: BUT THEN the robots take over the league. Or at least they try to. Your players can fly, so they have the aerial advantage. 

Vasant gets up to leave. 

Me: WAIT! I have more ideas for your fantasy league!

—-

Afterwards, he made me join his league and now I’m going all Aspergian on player stats. I actually know quite a lot about football, but stayed out of fantasy drafts because I, the Lord of the Rings nerd, think it’s a dumb way to spend your time. I also know I get too competitive and I’m worried about being in a league with people I love. Like worried I might destroy them with my cyborg players.

In other news, everyone in our league has given their teams Lord of the Rings names…

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Notes

  1. jennhoney reblogged this from sarahsamudre
  2. leesabsalcedo reblogged this from clairesalcedo and added:
    Sarah Samudre—you are random, funny, imaginative and you make perfect sense to me!!
  3. theskullhastheoneringinthetardis reblogged this from clairesalcedo
  4. myturtlespeedy said: This is pretty much my understanding of Fantasy Football.
  5. theewhitetiger reblogged this from clairesalcedo and added:
    Can I be in this fantasy league too?! It sounds amazing!!!
  6. clairesalcedo reblogged this from sarahsamudre and added:
    ~BUCKLEBURY BRANDYBUCKS FOREVA~
  7. vasantsamudre reblogged this from sarahsamudre and added:
    Oh my goodness, I LOVE IT!!!
  8. helms-deep said: I wish all fantasy football leagues were this cool. :-)
  9. clairesalcedo said: THIS IS THE GREATEST
  10. sarahsamudre posted this